Tobacco Companies Criticized For Cigarette Flavoured Dummies, Pacifiers And Bottle Teats.
Campaigners are trying to get the underhand products banned from stores.
UK
New AI Data Centre In The Lake District Will Be 200,000 sq. Acres Or ⅓ Of The Total Area.
A leading investor fund has been granted permission to build on the national park.
Reform UK Pledges To Increase Maximum Contactless Card Payment To £100,000.
The party said it wants to give its core voters a chance of a windfall.
British Pubs To Become Extinct By End Of 2028.
They are closing at an alarming rate of up to 15 a day.
Cruise Ships Being Used To Develop New Biochemical Virus Weapons.
The vessels are a perfect environment for releasing and containing experimental viruses.
Twitch Streamer Hit By Car Plans On Being Hit Once A Week After Massive Increase In Subscribers.
The man doing a faith walk and raising money for a new school will be mown down every week from now on.
Church Of England Refuses To Admit It Only Exists Because Of Horny Monarch.
There is simply no other reason for the country to have invented separate faith.
Women Using Actual Spiders For Eyelashes.
What started as ridicule has become a trend in its own right.
Cat Café Fined For Cooking Actual Cats In Sickening Misunderstanding.
The eatery had been serving up feline dishes for 3 days before being closed down.
Wally Finally Found Living In Poverty And Addicted To Fentanyl.
We found him! But it's not great news.
Earworms Discovered To Be Actual Worms With Miniature Synthesizers.
The incredible creature can only be seen with an electron microscope.
High Street Mini-Marts Selling Weapons Grade Uranium And Claymore Mines To Children.
We went undercover in the West Midlands targeting small mini-mart shops and discovered there is no limit to how low they will go to make money for the gangs that run them.
Gambling Companies Hiring Ex Tobacco Advertising Specialists.
The Tobacco Industry was extremely good at selling a life destroying product.
Reform UK Criticized For Recruiting Candidates From Parole Lists.
There is a never ending stream of suitable candidates being released every day.
Catholic Church Secretly Plotting New Crusade In The USA.
A Vatican insider has revealed the secret plans which would call on millions of Christians to take up the sword.
UK Canal System To Be Used To Ease Traffic Congestion.
All canals in the UK will be drained and cleared.
Post Office To Implement One Single Annual Delivery For Second Class Letters And Parcels.
The annual deliveries will begin in January next year.
Meta To Track Employees Sexual Activity And Analyse Their Faeces To Train AI.
The global tech company is making more and more demands of its staff before they fire them.
BREAKING: White House Correspondents Dinner Shooting Was Ordered By Trump.
It appears the president was intimidated because he only had one joke, and it was shit.
Man Has Heart Attack After Ordering ‘The Usual’ And Barmaid Not Knowing It.
The incident happened at the Dog & Dribble in Scunthorpe.
Research Suggests Reality TV Is Not Real At All.
A joint research project between 17 Universities around the world has found all reality TV to be manufactured leading to mass trauma for millions of viewers.
Europe To Implement Tariffs/Charges On Trump Tweets & Truths.
The new tariffs will be charged by the level of nonsense contained in each post.
13 Year Old Flies To Turkey For Hair Transplant On His Top Lip.
The child had been influenced by manosphere posts about only real men being able to grow facial hair.
Pupils Take School By Force After ‘No Phones’ Law Introduced.
The secondary school children are demanding a reversal to the new law or they will burn the school down.
Roblox Defends New In-game Dating Function For Paedophiles And Children.
The global giant says this new approach will keep the kids safer.
UK To Receive Military Aid From Ukraine Starting This Week.
President Zelenskyy has announced a massive military aid package for the UK.
Twatmaxxing Inadvertently Becomes The Maxxiest Maxxing Of All The Maxxes.
Maxxing is huge at the moment and has catapulted twats to historic highs.
Starmer To Issue New UK Wide Personal Vehicle Lockdown To Preserve The Nation's Fuel.
There will be no furlough, there will be no free dinners but we will all get a travel pass.
Delivery Robots In Los Angeles To Be Armed After Multiple Attacks.
The small delivery robots will have the law on their side if/when they kill someone
Restaurant Charges £15,000 For Portion Of 4000 Year Old Lobster.
Conservationists are angry at the exclusive eatery which caters to the rich and famous.
Kermit To Run As Democrat In 2028 Presidential Race
There’s a huge amount of support for someone open about being a puppet.
Banksy Identity Finally Revealed As The 80’s Milky Bar Kid.
There have been multiple suspects over the years but nothing was proven.
100% Of One Pound Coins Are Fake, Says Royal Mint.
The Royal Mint has released a statement declaring all one pound coins in circulation to be fake.
Andrew Mountbatten Windsor Advised Melania To Go Ahead With Epstein Press Statement.
The disgraced royal is close friends with the First Lady.
17 Year Student Old Asked To Pay £350,000 For 1 Years Car Insurance On A Corsa
Young drivers are being punished by insurance companies.
Medbeds Finally Proven To Exist And Work Says Medbed Manufacturer.
The beds cure all known ailments and diseases and sort your entire life out.
Artemis ll Crew Confirm on ‘Hot Mic’ Discovery Of A Huge Chinese Lunar Base On The Dark Side Of The Moon.
NASA believed the audio live stream had ended.
New Covid Variant BA 6.7 Endgame, A Descendant Of Cicada Has Merged With Cordyceps.
This new strain causes huge mushroom-like growths all over the body as well as violent aggression.
UK Police Start Using Drug Sniffer Tweakers.
The addicts will be used in various operations where drugs need to be found.
Minimum £25 Carrier Bag Charge To Be Introduced.
The retail industry is not happy with a new ruling from the government which they say will cause anger for customers.
Pussycat Dolls Name Change To Pussycat Milfs Stopped By Court Order.
It is alleged Kimberly Wyatt took managers to court to stop the rebranding.
Parents Not Happy With Pimped Up Ice Cream Van Playing Biggie Tunes.
Local children love the regular visits by Mr Trippy but many residents are not happy with the music he plays.
Farage Reveals Plans For New Downing Street Ballroom Extension.
The new ballroom will be paid for by private donors and built by military contractors.
The Cricketing Body Reveals “We Don't Really Know What's Going On Either”.
Played for hundreds of years, cricket is popular worldwide but the unsayable has been said, revealing a truth which for too long has been kept in the dark.
Poultry Industry Excited About New Broiler Breed Reaching Full Maturity In 5 Days.
The genetically altered chickens were developed to increase profit margins.
Man Who Walks With Gangster Limp Outed As Only Being A Petty Criminal.
19 year old Lyon Elis walks with the confidence of a man who’s seen it, been there, done it and came out the other side.
Starbucks And Costa Coffee Go To Literal War For Control Of The Highstreet.
The number of violent clashes between staff from opposing coffee retailers has increased dramatically over the past 2 weeks.
Sir David Attenborough Turns 100 This May - It’s About Time The Truth Be Told.
Incredible revelations about the broadcaster and nations favorite will shock the world.
UK Police Raid Illegal Panda Bear Fighting Gang.
Armed officers have raided an illegal panda bear fighting club housed in an industrial park in Dorset. Police were tipped off about the club by a disgruntled patron who had lost £10,000.
Man Builds Lego House To Live In With His Dog.
A request for donated lego went viral so the man made the decision to sell up and live the Lego lifestyle.
The World Cup Has Officially Been Cancelled After Trump Threw A Tantrum.
President Trump is angry about most of the world not liking him.
UK’s Most Polluted Place. Cars And Pets Dissolved By Acid Rain.
West Bromwich in the West MIdlands is named the most polluted place in the UK.
Little Girl Devastated After Giving Salmonella To All Her Dolls At Tea Party.
The 6 year old is coming to terms with the fact it was her fault 8 dolls and a teddy had contracted the illness.
Fox News To Become A Government Department.
The white house has announced it will be purchasing Fox News and relaunching it as the government's official news outlet.
New Internet Safety Task Force Will Visit Every Home In The UK Checking Browser History On All Devices.
Several new laws were passed last week enabling the task force to enter homes without permission and to use force where necessary
Gym Accused Of Adding Steroids To Communal Drinking Water.
The owners deny the allegations despite ample evidence.
Crypto Investors Claim A 7 Year old Rug Pulled And Made £400,000.
The tech savvy child allegedly took his supporters for a ride on the Crypto platform pump.fun.
Israel Offers Pay Per View Genocide.
For just $29.99 Israelis can subscribe to the premium government channel.
Bezos 65th Birthday Party Will Cost Billions And Be On The Moon.
In 3 years time Jeff Bezos will be 65 and he’s already planning the party! He announced yesterday the celebrations are going to dwarf his previous parties and will take place on the moon!
UK To Withdraw Recognition Of Palestine State On Condition Israel Agrees To Bomb Someone Else For A Bit.
After pressure and threats of 500% tariffs from America the UK has agreed to withdraw its recognition of a Palestinian state.
Council Pothole Repair Crews Kidnapped At Gunpoint.
An alarming trend has recently been identified of council pothole repair teams being taken at gunpoint to locations of pothole blackspots.
Man Buys Day Tripper On New Electric Bus And Mines Bitcoin All Day Via USB Port.
The new electric bus fleet from National Express allows passengers to charge their devices for free via USB ports.
Premier League To Start Charging Fans By The Chant.
The UK Premier League will begin charging each fan for the chants they sing from next season.
Labour Under Pressure To Relieve Overcrowded Prisons. Inmates To Serve 1/500th Of Their Sentence.
The UK’s severely overcrowded prison system is at breaking point.
Be GambleAware But Keep Gambling. The UK Government Is Pushing Hard To Encourage Gambling………………… Safety.
Government ministers are doing everything they can to encourage gambling…………… safety in the UK.
'It’s Just A Simple Rebrand' Says Trump After Declaring Name And Flag Change.
President Trump is renaming the country The United States Of Israel.
Mandatory Sunglasses To Be Worn By All UK Motorists At Night.
The government has announced that they will rush through legislation to make it illegal to drive at night without sunglasses.
New Samsung S450 Has 30 Cameras
Samsung launches its latest premium phone next month and they are not holding back on features!
MP Wants Parents To Pimp 18+ Children On OnlyFans To Help With Rent.
There is outrage today after a Labour MP suggested parents use their 18+ children as sex workers to assist with the cost of living.
Solution Invented To Combat The Scourge Of Solar Panels.
As we know solar panels damage the environment by stealing the sun's light and energy which plants and trees need to grow.
Trumps First Ballroom Event To Be A Saddam Style Purge.
The event scheduled for the 21st January 2029 was leaked to Newsishy in return for money.
Protein Works, Protein Sells.
Protein is selling stuff fast! Companies have realised how much people love protein and they are not afraid of including it in their products or at least claiming it’s in there.
New Housing Laws Give The Right For Tenants To Move Into Landlords Home If They Are Not Happy With The Rent.
The new UK housing laws for landlords, known as the Renters' Rights Act, will come into effect on May 1, 2026.
Prankster Serving 3 Years In Jail But Still Thinks He's Being Pranked.
The TikToker has previously been arrested 27 times for pulling pranks on unsuspecting members of the public.
Sovereign Citizens Proven Correct
The legal world is about to change due to two recent High Court and Supreme Court judgments in favour of a so-called freeman and a sovereign citizen.
Pensioner Boiled Alive In Full Body Hot Water Bottle Purchased On Alibaba.
89 year old Doris Thutston lived in a secluded 200 year old farmhouse with only a coal fire. So she was always looking for methods to keep warm.
Kanye Charged With 87 Counts Of Being A Dick Head.
New York police have charged Kanye West on multiple counts of being just awful.
6G Being Tested On The Ebola Frequency.
Newsishy can report that the emerging technology of 6G communication is being tested on the extremely dangerous ebola frequency in secret.
Christians Unhappy After 40 Days And 40 Nights of Rain Only Causes Minor Floods.
There has been major upheaval in the Christian community after 40 days and nights of rain in the UK failed to deliver anything other than some local flooding.
Prosthetic Dog Testicles To Be Mandatory For All Male Dogs Having The Snip.
After years of lobbying and legal battles animal welfare advocates have managed to get their DBM law through parliament.. The Dogs Balls Matter Law states....
MrBeast 1 Trillion Dollar Challenge
The world's largest YouTuber MrBeast will break another record this month with the launch of the biggest challenge and prize fund in history.
Trump Becomes Buddhist After Visiting Massage Parlour.
There is shock worldwide today after President Trump announced he has converted to Buddhism.
UK Bus Companies Introduce Cannabis Smoking Only Buses.
Public transport companies across the UK have agreed to introduce cannabis smoking only buses to combat antisocial behavior.
Zoo Defends Meerkat Cage Fighting Show.
Swansea Zoo in Wales, UK has defended its decision to continue holding cage fighting events using its large meerkat mob.
Government Commits To Providing Mental Health Therapy Within 15 Years Of First Diagnosis.
The UK government made a major announcement this morning with a statement pledging the NHS will deliver ongoing in depth mental health therapy
Emancipation Proclamation And The Thirteenth Amendment Were Never Signed.
President Trump has claimed that both the emancipation proclamation and the thirteenth amendment were never signed properly which creates a “wonderful opportunity” and a way “to make America truly great again”.
Shock As Influencer Fails To Influence Anybody.
When media studies student Wyne Swishens graduated and decided to become an influencer the future looked rosy. He’d been watching many of his peers over the years and been influenced by what they spoke about, suggested or sold.
Middle Aged Man Convinced He's In Alternate Reality After Not Knowing Anyone In Top 40
When Martin J. Southrowy, 48, woke up yesterday he thought he would be having a normal relaxed day off from being an estate agent in Brighton, UK.
Nike Defends Using Workers' Skin Who Die Of Exhaustion For New Human Leather Sneakers.
Sportswear giant Nike has been defending its practice of using the skin of exhausted factory workers to make its new exclusive line of human skin sneakers which the rich and famous have been paying 10’s of thousands of dollars for.
Eleven Year Old Proposes In Mcdonalds On Valentines Day
An eleven year old boy proposed in Mcdonalds to his 11 year old girlfriend and then eloped to Gretna Green.
Farage Denies Getting Plastic Surgery To Look Like Trump.
Leader of the Reform party Nigel Farage has denied he recently started having plastic surgery in an apparent effort to look like the controversial American president.
Massive Trillion Pounds In Unmined Gold Deposits Discovered Underneath Birmingham City Centre and surrounding areas
Birmingham City Council have made the extraordinary announcement that they plan to mine for gold directly underneath the City Centre and in doing so completely destroy 90 square miles of buildings and infrastructure
World Shoplifting Championship To Go Ahead
The long awaited World Shoplifting Championship is to go ahead in March after terms have finally been agreed between businesses, participants and various police forces.
Babies Being Born With WiFi Connectivity
Maternity units across the UK are reporting an extraordinary evolutionary human development.
Slug Species Discovered Which Only Eats Hedgehogs
Biologists in the UK announced the discovery of an incredible new species of carnivorous slug which appears to only eat hedgehogs. It’s been named Limax Sonicitus.
Business Selling First Genuine Penis Enlargement Drug Becomes Largest Company in the World 3 Days After Startup
BigBoner the company which invented and sells the only confirmed and proven to work penis enlargement pill has become the world's largest company despite only being launched 3 days ago
Prince Harry Demands 20 Million Annual Payment From King Charles Or He'll Release His Paternity Test Results.
In a bold move by rogue royal Prince Harry he has told his father King Charles III he wants £20,000,000 per year or he will release his paternity tests
Starbucks Launches 23000 Calorie Coffee
Starbucks announced the release of its new drink and then had to defend the decision after details emerged of the enormous calorie content.
Clothes Industry Hails Breeding Of ‘Polly’ The 1st Sheep To Produce 100% Polyester Fleece.
A conglomerate of Asian clothing industry manufacturers has announced the successful breeding of the world's first sheep to produce a 100% polyester fleece.
Teacher Training To Include MMA In The UK.
The government has announced that because of increased violence in schools against teaching staff that all teacher training will now include statutory qualification as Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighters.
GTA VI Release Date Put Back To August 2038
Gaming fans are fuming today after Rockstar released a statement once again delaying the release of their long awaited title Grand Theft Auto VI
Viral TikTok Trend ‘Granny Head Stomp’ Banned After 2 Years
Grandmothers worldwide will sleep easier today after TikTok finally banned the viral trend of stomping on a grannies head 2 years after it was ordered to by most high courts globally.
Squirrel Eats Homeless Man's Nuts
In a horrifying incident a homeless man is being treated in hospital after being attacked by a squirrel in a park.
Breaking: Pope Declares Kangaroos (and Wallabies) "Spawn of Satan"
Pope Leo XIV declares that kangaroos—and their smaller cousins, wallabies—are “the spawn of the devil himself.”
Bezos New Yacht Has Own Subway System
Jeff Bezos has another new yacht and Newsishy has been given exclusive access during its maiden test voyage
Global Markets Collapsing After AI Shows Everyone How To Make Pure Gold From Household Cooking & Cleaning Products.
Markets worldwide are in turmoil today after an AI user posted a recipe for 24k gold 2 days ago.
Councils Evict 230,000 Residents At Once To Make Way For ‘a better class of people’
The Metropolitan Borough of Barnsley is under fire today after 230,000 residents received eviction notices.
50% Plastic Fish Discovered.
Scientists have confirmed they have identified a new species of fish in the Atlantic which is composed of over 50% polyethylene material. The fish is a subspecies of the Atlantic herring.
Obese Seagulls In Cleethorpes Caught Placing Fast Food Orders Using Stolen Phones.
Residents of Cleethorpes are struggling to process a bizarre phenomenon that has left local business owners baffled and birdwatchers both horrified and impressed—seagulls appear to have learned how to place takeaway orders via food delivery apps.
School Soaks All Exercise Books In Vinegar To Stop Epidemic Of Dogs Eating Homework
A midlands school has taken the unusual step of soaking all writing paper and exercise books in vinegar to stop a rising trend of family pets eating homework
Mandatory Hi-Viz To Be Worn By All People Leaving Their Home.
A new UK law comes into force today making it illegal to leave your home without a hi-viz vest on.
Couple Starve To Death Deciding What To Watch On TV
A couple from Bristol have been found dead in their home after apparently starving to death.
Back Street Homeless Tattooist Used Rat Teeth And Bin Juice On Unsuspecting Customers.
A man is in court today charged with assault and administering a toxic substance after being found providing cheap tattoos to his victims.
Woman Uses AI Airfryer As Lawyer In Court Prompting Anger From The Judge
Air Fryers are extremely popular they incorporate all manner of technology including AI which a woman had tries to use in court as her lawyer
Banking Group Say Fraud Is Now Allowed
HSBC has announced that all external fraud committed in relation to the group, its customers and partners will be allowed from July 1st 2025.
TV Channels To Air Hour Long Gambling Ads With 3 Min Programs Every 20 Mins
A major shift in the format of most of the UKs television channels is to be rolled out over the next 12 months.
£980 For Cockroach Soup At Michelin Star Restaurant
Opinions are divided today after London chef Joey Kousino revealed the new menu at his Michelin starred restaurant Affluditz which is a top spot for rich and famous
Woman Complains She Can’t Withdraw Eggs From The Foodbank After She Deposited Them Four Months Ago.
Complaining on social media she said “Bloody banks think they can do what they want!, they don’t care about the people, they just take, take, take.”
Trafalgar Square Food Stall KFP Refuses To Confirm Where It Gets Its Meat From.
A food stall which has been located at Trafalgar Square in London for over 15 years is under pressure to reveal where it gets its meat from after a customer found grey feathers in his kebab.
USB-Z Requires a New Port The Thickness of a Human Hair.
The new USB-Z connection has been unveiled to scepticism after revealing its connector is only the thickness of a human hair.
Maternity & Paternity Leave to be Extended to 16 Years.
The UK government is expected to announce a major overhaul of maternity & paternity leave after some MPs fell pregnant and were unhappy with the statutory 52 weeks given to them.
Police Given New Powers To Arrest ‘Twats’
Police in the UK have been given new guidelines and powers to identify and arrest twats which will come into force in the next month.
AI Invents AI-Z - Its AI Which Uses Advanced AI To Perform Tasks Better Than AI
A group of AI companies have announced they have pooled all of their AI apps and systems and successfully instructed them to invent a new AI model which is infinitely more powerful than any other AI in the world.
Dog Eats Bible, Walks On Water Then Disappears.
Reports have come in of an incident yesterday when a dog who had just eaten a bible walked on water.
140mph Childs E-Bike Banned After Thousands Sold
Ban comes too late for e-bike that can reach speeds of 140mph straight out of the box.
Sunday League Pub Team Strikes £280 Million Sponsorship Deal, Sets Sights on Premier League Talent
A sponsorship deal has catapulted Scunthorpe’s Dog & Dribble United pub team into the realm of multimillion-pound clubs. Thanks to a staggering £280 million deal
London Charges For Parking While Stuck in Traffic.
Driving in the City of London has become so slow that the council is to start charging motorists parking fees for being stuck in traffic.
NASA Admits Earth Is Flat: ‘We Feel Really Stupid,’ Says Spokesman
In a shocking revelation that has left the global scientific community in turmoil, NASA has admitted that the Earth is, in fact, flat
Airline Offers Passenger Freight.
UK budget airline EasierJet has introduced passenger freight flights where customers looking to save money can have themselves shipped in a box in the cargo hold.
Islam And Christianity Merger Agreed
After thousands of years of conflict the leaders of the Christian and Islamic faiths have agreed to end all differences and hostility and merge the 2 faiths together.