There will be no furlough, there will be no free dinners but we will all get a travel pass.
UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer has issued a nationwide personal vehicle ban starting next week. It follows reports that the UK’s dwindling fuel reserves will not last the month if the public continue to keep using it.
Goods vehicles will be unaffected as will public transport which opposition MP’s say will be overwhelmed in a matter of hours.
It is estimated only ⅓ of people will be able to get to work using available public transport with another ⅓ choosing to walk, the final ⅓ will just “have to deal with it”.
CLEAR VUNERABILITY
The unusual move is the first of its kind for the UK and brings to light a clear vulnerability the country has when global nonsense affects supply.
Sir Keir made the announcement during a hurried press conference where he was visibly sweating.
“The country has plenty of fuel and there is no need for alarm. These measures have been introduced to make sure we don’t run out even though there is no chance of that happening.
There will be no panic buying as I have already closed all petrol stations to the general public with only commercial delivery vehicles being allowed to fill up.
I understand this is not an ideal situation but hopefully you will be lucky enough to squeeze onto something to get to work and if not hey, think of the health advantages of walking for miles everyday, you should be thanking us really. Sacrifices will have to be made and if you can’t get to work you will just have to deal with it I’m afraid.”
Every UK citizen will be able to download their free Travel Pass which will be valid until the world sorts its life out.
