The government is planning a new approach to the pothole problem after it has failed to get councils to fix the issue. A new truck has been designed which will be issued to every council in the country, they will lay ramps before each pothole to enable road users to jump the potholes and hopefully save their wheels from damage.
We spoke to the transport secretary The Rt Hon Heidi Alexander MP outside the houses of parliament and asked for more information:
“We put a tender out for ideas on how to fix the growing problem and after careful consideration we went for this incredible method created by primary school children for a science project.
Their idea was to build a truck which would lay ramps before potholes allowing vehicles to jump over them, it not only saves your car but it’s really fun too!”
EXPLOSIVE BOLTS
That does all sound like great fun but we’re not sure if most vehicles are suited to jumping multiple ramps every journey?
“Nonsense, it will be fine. The truck the children suggested was designed by our best engineers, it 3D prints the ramps of appropriate size in under a minute then attaches them to the road before the pothole in seconds using explosive bolts.”
Why doesn’t this new truck simply print flat pieces and bolt those over the potholes?
“Look, we have invested over 25 million pounds on development and building these trucks, we’re not about to abandon it just because some clever clogs suggests something which sounds like a much better idea.”
So it looks like your wheels will be safe in the future but we recommend upgrading your suspension and shock absorbers as soon as you can.
