New AI Data Centre In The Lake District Will Be 200,000 sq. Acres Or ⅓ Of The Total Area.
A leading investor fund has been granted permission to build on the national park.
Politics
Reform UK Pledges To Increase Maximum Contactless Card Payment To £100,000.
The party said it wants to give its core voters a chance of a windfall.
British Pubs To Become Extinct By End Of 2028.
They are closing at an alarming rate of up to 15 a day.
Church Of England Refuses To Admit It Only Exists Because Of Horny Monarch.
There is simply no other reason for the country to have invented separate faith.
High Street Mini-Marts Selling Weapons Grade Uranium And Claymore Mines To Children.
We went undercover in the West Midlands targeting small mini-mart shops and discovered there is no limit to how low they will go to make money for the gangs that run them.
Reform UK Criticized For Recruiting Candidates From Parole Lists.
There is a never ending stream of suitable candidates being released every day.
Catholic Church Secretly Plotting New Crusade In The USA.
A Vatican insider has revealed the secret plans which would call on millions of Christians to take up the sword.
UK Canal System To Be Used To Ease Traffic Congestion.
All canals in the UK will be drained and cleared.
BREAKING: White House Correspondents Dinner Shooting Was Ordered By Trump.
It appears the president was intimidated because he only had one joke, and it was shit.
Europe To Implement Tariffs/Charges On Trump Tweets & Truths.
The new tariffs will be charged by the level of nonsense contained in each post.
Pupils Take School By Force After ‘No Phones’ Law Introduced.
The secondary school children are demanding a reversal to the new law or they will burn the school down.
UK To Receive Military Aid From Ukraine Starting This Week.
President Zelenskyy has announced a massive military aid package for the UK.
Starmer To Issue New UK Wide Personal Vehicle Lockdown To Preserve The Nation's Fuel.
There will be no furlough, there will be no free dinners but we will all get a travel pass.
Kermit To Run As Democrat In 2028 Presidential Race
There’s a huge amount of support for someone open about being a puppet.
100% Of One Pound Coins Are Fake, Says Royal Mint.
The Royal Mint has released a statement declaring all one pound coins in circulation to be fake.
Andrew Mountbatten Windsor Advised Melania To Go Ahead With Epstein Press Statement.
The disgraced royal is close friends with the First Lady.
UK Police Start Using Drug Sniffer Tweakers.
The addicts will be used in various operations where drugs need to be found.
Minimum £25 Carrier Bag Charge To Be Introduced.
The retail industry is not happy with a new ruling from the government which they say will cause anger for customers.
Farage Reveals Plans For New Downing Street Ballroom Extension.
The new ballroom will be paid for by private donors and built by military contractors.
The World Cup Has Officially Been Cancelled After Trump Threw A Tantrum.
President Trump is angry about most of the world not liking him.
UK’s Most Polluted Place. Cars And Pets Dissolved By Acid Rain.
West Bromwich in the West MIdlands is named the most polluted place in the UK.
Fox News To Become A Government Department.
The white house has announced it will be purchasing Fox News and relaunching it as the government's official news outlet.
New Internet Safety Task Force Will Visit Every Home In The UK Checking Browser History On All Devices.
Several new laws were passed last week enabling the task force to enter homes without permission and to use force where necessary
Israel Offers Pay Per View Genocide.
For just $29.99 Israelis can subscribe to the premium government channel.
UK To Withdraw Recognition Of Palestine State On Condition Israel Agrees To Bomb Someone Else For A Bit.
After pressure and threats of 500% tariffs from America the UK has agreed to withdraw its recognition of a Palestinian state.
Council Pothole Repair Crews Kidnapped At Gunpoint.
An alarming trend has recently been identified of council pothole repair teams being taken at gunpoint to locations of pothole blackspots.
Labour Under Pressure To Relieve Overcrowded Prisons. Inmates To Serve 1/500th Of Their Sentence.
The UK’s severely overcrowded prison system is at breaking point.
'It’s Just A Simple Rebrand' Says Trump After Declaring Name And Flag Change.
President Trump is renaming the country The United States Of Israel.
Mandatory Sunglasses To Be Worn By All UK Motorists At Night.
The government has announced that they will rush through legislation to make it illegal to drive at night without sunglasses.
MP Wants Parents To Pimp 18+ Children On OnlyFans To Help With Rent.
There is outrage today after a Labour MP suggested parents use their 18+ children as sex workers to assist with the cost of living.
Trumps First Ballroom Event To Be A Saddam Style Purge.
The event scheduled for the 21st January 2029 was leaked to Newsishy in return for money.
New Housing Laws Give The Right For Tenants To Move Into Landlords Home If They Are Not Happy With The Rent.
The new UK housing laws for landlords, known as the Renters' Rights Act, will come into effect on May 1, 2026.
Sovereign Citizens Proven Correct
The legal world is about to change due to two recent High Court and Supreme Court judgments in favour of a so-called freeman and a sovereign citizen.
Trump Becomes Buddhist After Visiting Massage Parlour.
There is shock worldwide today after President Trump announced he has converted to Buddhism.
UK Bus Companies Introduce Cannabis Smoking Only Buses.
Public transport companies across the UK have agreed to introduce cannabis smoking only buses to combat antisocial behavior.
Government Commits To Providing Mental Health Therapy Within 15 Years Of First Diagnosis.
The UK government made a major announcement this morning with a statement pledging the NHS will deliver ongoing in depth mental health therapy
Emancipation Proclamation And The Thirteenth Amendment Were Never Signed.
President Trump has claimed that both the emancipation proclamation and the thirteenth amendment were never signed properly which creates a “wonderful opportunity” and a way “to make America truly great again”.
Farage Denies Getting Plastic Surgery To Look Like Trump.
Leader of the Reform party Nigel Farage has denied he recently started having plastic surgery in an apparent effort to look like the controversial American president.
Massive Trillion Pounds In Unmined Gold Deposits Discovered Underneath Birmingham City Centre and surrounding areas
Birmingham City Council have made the extraordinary announcement that they plan to mine for gold directly underneath the City Centre and in doing so completely destroy 90 square miles of buildings and infrastructure
Prince Harry Demands 20 Million Annual Payment From King Charles Or He'll Release His Paternity Test Results.
In a bold move by rogue royal Prince Harry he has told his father King Charles III he wants £20,000,000 per year or he will release his paternity tests
Breaking: Pope Declares Kangaroos (and Wallabies) "Spawn of Satan"
Pope Leo XIV declares that kangaroos—and their smaller cousins, wallabies—are “the spawn of the devil himself.”
Councils Evict 230,000 Residents At Once To Make Way For ‘a better class of people’
The Metropolitan Borough of Barnsley is under fire today after 230,000 residents received eviction notices.
Mandatory Hi-Viz To Be Worn By All People Leaving Their Home.
A new UK law comes into force today making it illegal to leave your home without a hi-viz vest on.
Woman Complains She Can’t Withdraw Eggs From The Foodbank After She Deposited Them Four Months Ago.
Complaining on social media she said “Bloody banks think they can do what they want!, they don’t care about the people, they just take, take, take.”
Maternity & Paternity Leave to be Extended to 16 Years.
The UK government is expected to announce a major overhaul of maternity & paternity leave after some MPs fell pregnant and were unhappy with the statutory 52 weeks given to them.
Police Given New Powers To Arrest ‘Twats’
Police in the UK have been given new guidelines and powers to identify and arrest twats which will come into force in the next month.
Sunday League Pub Team Strikes £280 Million Sponsorship Deal, Sets Sights on Premier League Talent
A sponsorship deal has catapulted Scunthorpe’s Dog & Dribble United pub team into the realm of multimillion-pound clubs. Thanks to a staggering £280 million deal
London Charges For Parking While Stuck in Traffic.
Driving in the City of London has become so slow that the council is to start charging motorists parking fees for being stuck in traffic.
US President Pardons Pol Pot, Stalin And Wile E. Coyote
In an extraordinary and yet unsurprising move US President Donald Trump has issued posthumous pardons to 3 individuals he believes have been unjustly perceived as ‘bad’ in the past.
Islam And Christianity Merger Agreed
After thousands of years of conflict the leaders of the Christian and Islamic faiths have agreed to end all differences and hostility and merge the 2 faiths together.