Human-created content disclaimer
Fake merch ad

SATIRICAL NEWS / PARODY ARTICLES / FAKE NEWSPAPER STORIES / FROM NEWSISHY

Church Of England Refuses To Admit It Only Exists Because Of Horny Monarch.

A recent off the cuff remark by the Pope has reinvigorated an argument about the English faith not being taken seriously by the rest of the Catholic community.

During a visit to a private choir boys retreat he said to one boy he was flirting with that the COE was the result of ‘Horny Henry’ and was a bit of a joke.

The Archbishop of Canterbury was asked about the Pope’s comment in an interview and said:
“I’m sure he was joking, we have had a great relationship with the Vatican since the churches were divided.”

DIFFERENCE OF OPINION

Okay, but why were they divided in the first place?
“There was a difference of opinion at the time, it was felt that England needed a religion more attuned to its values”

But all your values are pretty much the same except for views on divorce and who the head of the church should be?
“I’m not sure what you are getting at?”

We’re getting at the fact that the head of the COE is hereditary, a royal monarch who has no more right to the role than Brian who cleans my windows and that the whole divorce thing was the point of the split in the first place and specifically allowed so that Henry VIII could leave Catherine of Aragon and shag someone else, he literally created an entire faith simply because he was a horny fucker:
“Okay, fair enough but being horny isn’t a crime, even for a monarch, if that was the case we wouldn’t have a queen who was Charlie’s side piece for decades.

We asked King Charles and his side piece for comment but have received no response.


#SATIRE