As Jake Joust sat on the sofa watching Countdown he was having a good old dig up the snooter trying to free the large bogey he could feel up there.
There was a heavy storm outside that afternoon, thunder and lightning with strong wind and rain. Jake finally managed to secure a fingernail on the squidgy beast and teased it out trying to keep it in one gooey piece.
Success! He had dragged it out as thunder struck and it was indeed a beautiful huge specimen of many different colours and textures.
Jake aimed at the hand drawn circular target on the wall of his front room which, if he got a bullseye, would win him a prize of another can of Stella from the fridge.
I WANT TO LIVE
As he was about to flick with years of accuracy training he was confident of a win until the unimaginable happened, the bogey said “please don’t, I want to live”.
When Jake came round after fainting the bogey was still on the end of his finger saying “wake up, wake up, I didn’t mean to scare you”.
Jake thought he was hallucinating and called an ambulance, the paramedics called an ambulance for themselves because they thought they were also hallucinating. Seven ambulances later a few scientists turned up and took the bogey and Jake away to a government facility.
Professor Celistia Lair spoke to Newsishy on the phone and told us she has no idea how or why the bogey gained sentience but it seems to have done exactly that.
She also added: “We’ve had 100’s of attempts to replicate the phenomena, colleagues have chased storms and picked their noses at the sound of thunder but all they’ve achieved is sore and bloody nostrils.
They take Jake with them but he’s had no luck either although to be fair he is always crying and pleading to go home which won’t happen as he is now under the control of the Ministry Of Defence.”
