The Sunday league football world has been rocked by an extraordinary sponsorship deal that has catapulted Scunthorpe’s Dog & Dribble United pub team into the realm of multimillion-pound clubs. Thanks to a staggering £280 million deal with online betting platform 1moreonlinebettingsite.com, the team is planning to buy star players, build a new stadium, and leave behind the days of climbing allotment fences to retrieve stray balls.
Team manager Hester Tisias, a local chip shop employee, said the sponsorship offer came completely out of the blue. “This guy called Sean Worthstroutyp from 1moreonlinebettingsite.com messaged me on X (formerly Twitter, but always Twitter to me), saying they wanted to sponsor us,” Hester explained. “I asked how much, and he said between 250 and 300. I thought, ‘Great, we can get a couple of new balls and maybe even some nets so Graham doesn’t have to go scrambling into the allotments every time we miss.”
Surprise deposit
However, when Hester handed over the team’s bank details— a personal account he had set up for the team—he was stunned to see a deposit of £280 million hit his account. “I immediately contacted Sean to let him know there’d been a mistake, and he just said, ‘No, that’s right. I did say between 250 and 300. Did you want more?’ I couldn’t believe it.”
A Billion Pounds to Burn
Sean Worthstroutyp, the man behind the deal, confirmed the unprecedented sponsorship, explaining that the betting industry’s competitive landscape has made it difficult to find teams to sponsor. “Every big team is already tied up with another betting site,” he said. “I’ve got a billion pounds burning a hole in my pocket, and I’m struggling to give it away fast enough. The Dog & Dribble looked like a solid investment.”
Big Dreams for a Small Team
With their newfound riches, Dog & Dribble United have ambitious plans. They’re reportedly in talks to buy players from Arsenal and Real Madrid, hoping to add Premier League and La Liga talent to their squad of builders, chip shop workers, and part-time mechanics. There are also early discussions about constructing a new stadium, a far cry from their current pitch, where attendance typically ranges between 15 and 25 regulars from the Dog & Dribble pub. “We’re going to put Scunthorpe on the map,” said Hester. “And not just for the chip shop.”
Local Reactions
The sponsorship has caused a stir among fans, who are optimistic about the changes. “It’s about time we got a decent striker,” said one long-time supporter, pint in hand. “Last week we lost 12-0 because Darren wouldn’t stop smoking during the match.” Critics, however, have questioned whether the sponsorship money will be wisely spent. “It’s one thing buying Arsenal players, but they’d better invest in getting G raham a new pair of boots too. The man’s been playing in wellies for three seasons now,” one fan pointed out. As the team prepares for its first spending spree, the world of Sunday league football may never be the same again. Whether this financial windfall will propel Dog & Dribble United to new heights—time will only tell. Hester Tisias was not available for further comment as he left on a first class flight to Barbados this morning.
