The UK Premier League will begin charging each fan for the chants they sing from next season.
Every week, hundreds of thousands of football fans pay to watch a game and sing along with their fellow supporters at grounds across the country. The Premier League have spotted a new revenue stream which they will absolutely be taking advantage of.
FACIAL ID SOFTWARE
Using highly accurate facial ID software and Direct Debit they will identify each fan, what they sing and for how long, the fan will then be automatically charged once they have left the ground.
We spoke to Premier League spokesperson Wesley Fanishiss and asked how they can possibly think this is a good idea?
“It’s a great idea… for us, not so much for the fans but we’ve already proven we can charge what we want for tickets and pies and they’ll just keep coming.”
As an example, if we take a recent England game, obviously not the Prem but fans sang the chant of “Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na now, Starmer is a cunt, is a cunt, Starmer is a cunt.” sang to the tune of the 1986 hit Give It Up by KC & The Sunshine Band, how much would a fan pay?
“It would be about £1.50 for that one because it would incur the profanity surcharge of 25%”
How about some of the classics such as ‘Who ate all the pies’, ‘You only sing where your winning’, ‘You’re not singing anymore’, ‘You fat bastard’, ‘Lets pretend we’ve scored a goal’ and ‘Your sister is your mother, your father is your brother’?
“You’re looking at around £1 per individual chant. Look, most of them won’t even notice the charges coming out the bank and besides, what are they going to do, just sit there silent for 2 hours after having 4 pints, no fucking chance.”
So it looks like you will be paying a few extra pounds for your visit to the ground from August.
