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UK Police Raid Illegal Panda Bear Fighting Gang.

Armed officers have raided an illegal panda bear fighting club housed in an industrial park in Dorset. Police were tipped off about the club by a disgruntled patron who had lost £10,000.

Housed in a large unit on the edge of the park, the club was set up like a cage fighting arena with an octagon ring and seats for patrons.
When police gained access there was a panda fight starting, the horrific scene of 2 pandas, high on methamphetamine starting to fight to the death. Animal welfare officers tranquilised both pandas and 7 attendees after they got angry.

FIGHT TO THE DEATH

The gang had been running the illegal betting fights for over 2 years and had made over £1,500,000. It was a sophisticated operation with cameras set up to livestream the fights to UK and international gamblers. There was a large training area in the back where they would teach the pandas to fight each other from a young age, once they’ve matured and honed their kill skills they are forced to fight to the death.
The Pandas are given methamphetamine once they have entered the ring to make them aggressive.

It is thought there may be other similar venues in other parts of the country yet to be discovered.

Animal conservationists have commented that the rate the criminals are breeding pandas, known to be extremely difficult to mate, far exceeds all zoos across the world including China and they must be using illegal methods such as Sildenafil and mdma cocktails to get them going.

Police detained 45 people including 6 gang members and animal welfare officers took away the 2 pandas from the ring and another 13 found smoking and circuit training in the back of the building.


#SATIRE