Reports have come in of an incident yesterday when a dog who had just eaten a bible walked on water.
A worshipper from the Church of St Bernards in Blackpool Doris Thutston said she witnessed the dog eat the bible after it got into the church. “I saw it chewing up one of the bibles, it had nearly eaten it all so I shouted Oi, fuck off you little shit and it ran out the back with what was left of the bible in its mouth. I chased it, throwing bricks and it jumped into the water but instead of sinking in it miraculously just walked across the surface of the water! It carried on to the other side and ran off.”
CCTV discovered of the incident
It was later discovered the dog was named Samson and belonged to the vicar. CCTV revealed that one of the bricks Mrs Thutston threw hit the dog on the head as it entered the water and Samson sank.
We contacted Mrs Thutston who said the CCTV had been faked, she knows what she saw and she would never have harmed the vicar’s dog as she is a good Christian.
