Played for hundreds of years, cricket is popular worldwide but the unsayable has been said, revealing a truth which for too long has been kept in the dark.
It looked like the England and Wales Cricket Board were expecting gasps and shock when they made their announcement today but instead they received murmurs of “ohhhhhh” and “ha, thought I was the only one”.
The ECB had just revealed it does not really understand the game and its rules and has essentially been running a lie for over a hundred years.
Chairman Wyne Swishens said “I persuaded my colleagues to come clean after my grandson asked me to explain the game to him and I was at a total loss. I thought this isn’t fair to him so bugger my job”
UNWRITTEN RULE
He continued “The size of this conspiracy is massive, for over a hundred years we have published countless books of rules, strategy and statistics, even the authors can’t make any sense of them. There is this unwritten rule that anyone talking about cricket is presumed to know what they are talking about and they get away with it because no fucker knows how the game works in the first place”
We asked Wyne if this is true how are entire tournaments taking place, what are the players doing?
“The players are trained from school age to pretend they know what’s going on but in reality they just stand around, hit the odd ball and pray for rain”
Newsishy contacted The International Cricket Council, they disputed what the ECB has said:
“We are not sure what is happening at ECB HQ, what we do know is their claims are complete nonsense, total lies and fabrication, we will be happy to prove we know what we are talking about, maybe not now though, let’s schedule a call, you get your guys to call my guys and we’ll sort something out in the future, after the spring break, at some point.”
They hung up.
