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Starbucks Launches 23000 Calorie Coffee

Starbucks Launches 23000 Calorie Coffee

Starbucks announced the release of its new drink and then had to defend the decision after details emerged of the enormous calorie content.

Named the Protein Health Terminator it has been independently tested and found to contain between 21,000 and 23,000 calories depending on if you have the sprinkles on top, science has not been able to identify what the sprinkles are made out of.

DONUTS & BACON

Although testing revealed the drink contained equivalents of 17 espressos, gummy bears, jelly beans, snickers, peanut butter, donuts, jam, butter, bacon, full fat milk, white sugar, brown sugar, icing sugar, marshmallows, boiled sweets, fructose, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, pork rinds, shortbread biscuits and lard Starbucks is firm that the new drink is a healthy one although they have recommended that the drink is consumed in multiple sessions over several days.

DOUBLE THE SIZE

It’s available in one size of 62oz (1840ml) , double the size of its previous largest drink and is served in a harness enabling the customer to carry it around strapped to their chest.


#SATIRE