Starbucks And Costa Coffee Go To Literal War For Control Of The Highstreet.
The number of violent clashes between staff from opposing coffee retailers has increased dramatically over the past 2 weeks.
Crime
Sir David Attenborough Turns 100 This May - It’s About Time The Truth Be Told.
Incredible revelations about the broadcaster and nations favorite will shock the world.
UK Police Raid Illegal Panda Bear Fighting Gang.
Armed officers have raided an illegal panda bear fighting club housed in an industrial park in Dorset. Police were tipped off about the club by a disgruntled patron who had lost £10,000.
Fox News To Become A Government Department.
The white house has announced it will be purchasing Fox News and relaunching it as the government's official news outlet.
New Internet Safety Task Force Will Visit Every Home In The UK Checking Browser History On All Devices.
Several new laws were passed last week enabling the task force to enter homes without permission and to use force where necessary
Gym Accused Of Adding Steroids To Communal Drinking Water.
The owners deny the allegations despite ample evidence.
Crypto Investors Claim A 7 Year old Rug Pulled And Made £400,000.
The tech savvy child allegedly took his supporters for a ride on the Crypto platform pump.fun.
Israel Offers Pay Per View Genocide.
For just $29.99 Israelis can subscribe to the premium government channel.
UK To Withdraw Recognition Of Palestine State On Condition Israel Agrees To Bomb Someone Else For A Bit.
After pressure and threats of 500% tariffs from America the UK has agreed to withdraw its recognition of a Palestinian state.
Council Pothole Repair Crews Kidnapped At Gunpoint.
An alarming trend has recently been identified of council pothole repair teams being taken at gunpoint to locations of pothole blackspots.
Man Buys Day Tripper On New Electric Bus And Mines Bitcoin All Day Via USB Port.
The new electric bus fleet from National Express allows passengers to charge their devices for free via USB ports.
Labour Under Pressure To Relieve Overcrowded Prisons. Inmates To Serve 1/500th Of Their Sentence.
The UK’s severely overcrowded prison system is at breaking point.
Trumps First Ballroom Event To Be A Saddam Style Purge.
The event scheduled for the 21st January 2029 was leaked to Newsishy in return for money.
Prankster Serving 3 Years In Jail But Still Thinks He's Being Pranked.
The TikToker has previously been arrested 27 times for pulling pranks on unsuspecting members of the public.
Sovereign Citizens Proven Correct
The legal world is about to change due to two recent High Court and Supreme Court judgments in favour of a so-called freeman and a sovereign citizen.
Pensioner Boiled Alive In Full Body Hot Water Bottle Purchased On Alibaba.
89 year old Doris Thutston lived in a secluded 200 year old farmhouse with only a coal fire. So she was always looking for methods to keep warm.
Kanye Charged With 87 Counts Of Being A Dick Head.
New York police have charged Kanye West on multiple counts of being just awful.
UK Bus Companies Introduce Cannabis Smoking Only Buses.
Public transport companies across the UK have agreed to introduce cannabis smoking only buses to combat antisocial behavior.
Emancipation Proclamation And The Thirteenth Amendment Were Never Signed.
President Trump has claimed that both the emancipation proclamation and the thirteenth amendment were never signed properly which creates a “wonderful opportunity” and a way “to make America truly great again”.
Farage Denies Getting Plastic Surgery To Look Like Trump.
Leader of the Reform party Nigel Farage has denied he recently started having plastic surgery in an apparent effort to look like the controversial American president.
World Shoplifting Championship To Go Ahead
The long awaited World Shoplifting Championship is to go ahead in March after terms have finally been agreed between businesses, participants and various police forces.
Prince Harry Demands 20 Million Annual Payment From King Charles Or He'll Release His Paternity Test Results.
In a bold move by rogue royal Prince Harry he has told his father King Charles III he wants £20,000,000 per year or he will release his paternity tests
Teacher Training To Include MMA In The UK.
The government has announced that because of increased violence in schools against teaching staff that all teacher training will now include statutory qualification as Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighters.
Viral TikTok Trend ‘Granny Head Stomp’ Banned After 2 Years
Grandmothers worldwide will sleep easier today after TikTok finally banned the viral trend of stomping on a grannies head 2 years after it was ordered to by most high courts globally.
Obese Seagulls In Cleethorpes Caught Placing Fast Food Orders Using Stolen Phones.
Residents of Cleethorpes are struggling to process a bizarre phenomenon that has left local business owners baffled and birdwatchers both horrified and impressed—seagulls appear to have learned how to place takeaway orders via food delivery apps.
Mandatory Hi-Viz To Be Worn By All People Leaving Their Home.
A new UK law comes into force today making it illegal to leave your home without a hi-viz vest on.
Back Street Homeless Tattooist Used Rat Teeth And Bin Juice On Unsuspecting Customers.
A man is in court today charged with assault and administering a toxic substance after being found providing cheap tattoos to his victims.
Banking Group Say Fraud Is Now Allowed
HSBC has announced that all external fraud committed in relation to the group, its customers and partners will be allowed from July 1st 2025.
Police Given New Powers To Arrest ‘Twats’
Police in the UK have been given new guidelines and powers to identify and arrest twats which will come into force in the next month.
140mph Childs E-Bike Banned After Thousands Sold
Ban comes too late for e-bike that can reach speeds of 140mph straight out of the box.
US President Pardons Pol Pot, Stalin And Wile E. Coyote
In an extraordinary and yet unsurprising move US President Donald Trump has issued posthumous pardons to 3 individuals he believes have been unjustly perceived as ‘bad’ in the past.